Monday, 22 December 2014

Wedding Photographers?

Weddings are the social convention where half the people gather to click and the other half to get clicked and yes these two people are playing with fire. Earlier there used to be just one photographer and he was like the least important person; nobody gave a shit about what he clicked, who he clicked or did he even click? They were just happy that they have the album as a documented proof of the marriage. But now thanks to technology every goddamn individual is equipped to click a photo (no matter how shabby it is).
The wannabes;
There are the wannabe photographers who show up with a DSLRs (probably put it on Auto mode) and call themselves photographers. They feel the sole responsibility of wedding photography is on their shoulders. I actually saw one giving tips to pro "bhai thoda low angle se lo mast ata Hai photo...” 
The classic traits of such wannabes are they own a DSLR or a semi DSLR or a camera which looks like DSLR. They have their built in flash on (which gives shitty result) and follow the professional photographer.

Point-shoot photographers;
They obviously own a point and shoot camera but they actually point and shoot almost everything they come across. I mean literally everything. The first thing they do when they enter the hall is switch on the camera. I saw one clicking multiple photos of an entrance statute! They click the empty stage, close ups of flowers, empty chairs, filled chairs, buffet, food items, waiters, carpet, ceiling, wiring... Everything! And this is how their camera battery gets drained when the actual ceremony starts.

The Selfiers;
Apparently before Oscars of 2014 nobody knew their phones have a front camera (people thought it was just a mirror). Researchers believe the use of rear camera has decline by 80% after Oscars. Samsung is planning to launch a new smart phone with high front camera MP than rear camera with a special wedding photos mode (which is completely useless).
There was this guy who gave his phone to a friend and said " mera selfie le na". His friend was even smarter, he turned on the front camera pointed it towards his friend and asked " dekh...karu click...aa raha Hai kya tu?"
People don't consider it a selfie if its not clicked from a front camera! To my over enthusiastic selfie clickers; selfie is taking photos of self by self. Nothing to do with front or rear camera.

Slow Clickers;
Usually, the old uncles and aunts who are not so old to be called grand and not that young to be called just uncle and aunty. For them camera is just too-hard-to-use device and still they don't give up. They hold up the camera high make a Chinese eye and hit the button after a really long time. They usually take pictures of relatives whom they meet after a year and probably won't meet till next wedding in family. They try to click pictures of children but children are too impatient for them so their favorite targets are the senior citizens (as only they can hold the patience).

Click Me! clickers;
They are like predator of photos. They roam around the hall searching for prey with their tool being camera. As soon as they find one they give the camera to their prey and say "hey click me" sometimes they even make their prey suffer "click me when I am laughing... Now when I not laughing... Now when I look down...sitting... Standing... Jumping...rolling... Farting..."

Ugly clickers;
Well they don't click ugly photos. They consider themselves too ugly to be clicked. Every hot beautiful girl has a fat ugly girl friend who always praises her that ugly person is the ugly clicker. All she does is clicks photos of her hot friend and sometimes clicks a Selfie with her (which is then used as a Whatsapp profile picture).

I appreciate this technological advancement but let’s admit it it’s a real pain in the ass. In case of photography, it has degraded the sanctity of photography. Every shameless boy in the town now holds a point-shoot camera or a mobile camera and calls himself a photographer. There should be technological development but not at disposal of idiots.


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