FACEBOOK CONFESSIONS

Hello friends, this is FaceBook! I know I know you might be wondering Who? How? What? But yeah this Is me, FaceBook! Well Mark told me not to but I just couldn’t take your behaviour on FB anymore and by “your” I mean all the billions of FB users (no offense).  

Being a FB I came across a lot of personalities...so many that I can write a big fat book on it! And let share a secret with you we make every single attempt to fool you and we succeed enormously. Let just say the more time you spend on FB my tenure gets bigger. I get paid for wasting your time! Isn’t that great? I don’t have to do much...fooling you user is a piece of cake!

For instance, FB games...crap man they are total crap!! No extraordinary graphics, nothing innovative but they are addictive. They make you came back again and play them, people are so engrossed that they cannot get their asses out of the seat for hours! Let me tell you four hours in front of computer, playing FB games, reaching level 44 what have you achieved?? I’ll answer it for you and the answer is NOTHING...! There is no significance of you reaching level 44 in real life, Grow up guys even Dave and Mario are better choices!

Now my most exclusive users, the school and college buddies. Guys you don’t have to answer my question “What’s on your mind?” every now and then. Sometimes I see your status and I laugh out loud (FYI lol is short for laugh out loud and it’s Not a word, most people don’t know! And it’s very inappropriate to use in a face to face conversation!). Some people are like, “I missed my train...it was real fun!” ironically 50 likes and 23 pathetic comments! If it’s by a girl then just double the number if it is by a pretty girl then just double the doubled number.

Photography! I have tried to encourage the little photographer in you but apparently I woke up the photographic daemon in you who clicks a pic after every single split of second! Moreover upload them on me (No matter how jackass you)! Some are like uploading photo of a hotel and captioning “had dinr wid ma family at dis hotel ystrdae!” some are like, “this is ma doggie, ma cutie pie!!!”, “this is ma home”, “this is house’s hall”, “...kitchen”, “...bedroom”, “...toilet seat” bullshit!!!

My dear Romeos and Juliets, you know I have matched number of couples more than any matrimonial site! At times love stories used to start like “Once upon a time a girl crashed into a boy their eyes met and they fell in love at first sight!” but years after stories will be told like this, “Once a princess added Prince Charming as a friend on FB...”

I have LOT more to tell...believe me by lot I mean real lot!! I’ll wind up here cause Mark is coming! Bye cya tc and think on it!

- Phate