Saturday, 16 April 2016


The college, which wishes to remain anonymous (It rhymes with Orange) said it was well within its rights to ask for student’s virginities as submission as it was in the University rules. We failed to contact the University as our correspondent got lost in it. We still haven’t got him back. If anyone finds him, please email him to us.

“They can’t just ask for my virginity” a student proclaims. “I’m saving my flower for someone special” said Monica. “No one calls it flower anymore” said Rachel. “Unagi” said Ross. “I have a boyfriend” said a girl. “People will write fake articles if they are bored” says I.  “It’s a moo point.” says Joey.

“It’s just for five marks. I would have considered if it was for more." said a male student. “I have lost it” said another. “It’s not fair. They should have given us more time to submit.”

Unreasonable submissions are on the rise complain students from various streams. They ask us[students] to just copy and paste. We [students] can hardly use anything other than our smartphones, how do you [the man] expect us to CTRL+C and CTRL+V things.

Bottom line is Universities are more like the Wonderlands from Alice in Wonderland and they are ruled by Mad hatters. And without a degree, no one is anyone. (no offence meant to no one.) And we have to slog our butts off to graduate.

Thank god we have pot.

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