It has been stated by the authorities that Kerala, Kochi is worst on the crime index. Figures compiled till 2010 show Kerala has a crime rate of 424.1, more than double the national average of 187.6.Kochi's crime rate is even scarier at 1,879.8 compared to most cities, where the figure averages 341.9
Sorry, I couldn’t manage a live and exclusive interview with Kochi’s top crime lords as they were in Boston too busy recruiting goons whose IQ level matches with other gang members. Apparently, they were successful because all they told white MIT graduates that they get to kick black people’s asses. Didn’t mention the place though.
So, what exactly is that state up to? They are providing education of the best quality, in spite of that the state has the highest crime rate.
I guess back in Kerala the career counsellors didn’t take much effort, just screened the movie(series) ‘Jannat’. Today is the day when the cut-off lists would be out. Turns out a student committed suicide because, Trichapalli Venkatraman’s gang’s list closed on 97% and 50 homicide and the boy was short of just one. He claimed that all he could think about was “Maa baap ne padhaya vo kya enigineer banne ke liye?”. Though it was not the brightest way to become eligible for the seat.
Apparently, 5 students with 69% were selected under ‘Ability to Rape’ category.
When asked about this matter the CM said “Its so yeeeaasy, that nothing syeems to palease me and aal feels alright!” and Axl Rose claimed that “what’s going on is terrifying and government will take strict actions against it (laugh it off at Comedy Central). We’ve been trying recruiting Bajirao Singham and Rathore since we’ve heard about it. Although both of them have promised to slap all the criminals via Bluetooth, I guess it’s done by now. Soon the criminals would send their replies as ‘current received’.
So, Kerala is all set to fight back, the weapons are ready, the new recruits are ready and even the elephants are ready (God know why). Because, wait for it, Mani Ratnam wants to shoot the next part of Ravan in Kerala or as he says “(Fake) Mythology abhi baki hai, mere dost”. But, the authorities firmly said that reducing the crime would be given immediate preference after they complete washing their socks. Till then, Adios.